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Parents Mess You Up But Don't Mean ToYour early years at home with your parents was a very impressionable time of your life and your belief system today in many ways reflects the belief system of your parents or guardians. Whether you were born into wealth and power, or poverty or most likely somewhere in between your relationship with yourself has been shaped by them and their expectations of you. As a child there was nothing more important to you than the love of your mother and father and you soon learned that this love was not unconditional. 
If you displeased either they did not appear to love you and you quickly determined that you must modify your behaviour in order to please them. So at a very early stage in your life you chose to follow the rules of the adults around you whether it was pleasing to you or not.You can hopefully reflect back now on those times and be aware that you were attempting the impossible. What was demanded of you did not remain consistent over time, and many children grew up without receiving the praise of which they were worthy. Your mother and father were not to blame as they experienced a similar process as they were growing up, and most people have never taken the time to explore if a better approach was available.
Every Criticism or Judgment
that you heard was internalised and assumed to be true. If you have never taken the time to bring those beliefs into your awareness and adjust them into ones that empower you and not disable you, then those beliefs lie dormant waiting to be triggered by the events and circumstances around you.
- Expectations might have been set very high and you were often judged as not being good enough. - Rules and regulations had to be followed but were never clearly explained. - Love might be withdrawn if your behaviour was inappropriate. A child that is encouraged at every turn, and is instilled with a sense of empowerment and choice develops a robust sense of self and naturally self confidence at home and within the social environment develops as a result. If you feel that your self confidence is limited in specific areas it will prove to be very revealing to you if you explore your home experiences to identify any powerful judgments that were made against you by parents or guardians. "You must try harder" "Your attitude was not up to standard" "Why can't you be as good as..." You will have absorbed any statements such as these at the time as being factual and accurate, and without you noticing they will have formed part of your belief system about yourself and your value. If you were judged to be poor at a specific subject as a young child, I can guarantee that you lack self confidence in that subject area unless you have been able to remove the resistance and establish new empowering beliefs in their place. That is the work that I want to support you with. Increasing your awareness of your subconscious limitations and working to release the natural self confidence that lies within you. Your parents always loved you but they did not understand that you were going to internalise every comment and judgment they made. The time has come to release that resistance.
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